Posts by shelbymilhoan
Featured Writing: Signs You Are Mentally and Emotionally Exhausted
Just like physical exhaustion after a good workout or working on our feet for hours on end, mental and emotional exhaustion can be just as taxing on our bodies. Signs of mental fatigue include feeling consistently irritable and expressing that irritation, increasing desire to sleep, and tearfulness. Check out this article several other therapists and…
Read MoreGetting What You Actually Want from your Partner— Part Two: Creating a Script to Use in Conversation
This is part Two of the series: Getting what you Actually Want from your Partner. To read part one, start here. Once you have your goals prioritized, it is time to think about and write what you want to say in the conversation. DBT provides a great template to assist us in asking for our…
Read More4 Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, emotional abuse includes “non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you“. This may present in romantic relationships as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, and dismissiveness, among others.” It can be challenging to see the signs of emotional abuse as they are…
Read MoreThe Differences Between Assertiveness and Aggressiveness
Someone recently asked me the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness, specifically in asking your partner or children for something. Often we mistake the two, and depending on our upbringing, the two may be similar or are the same thing. In some families (like my big Italian family), aggressiveness and loud communication are a way of…
Read MoreGetting What You Actually Want from your Partner— Part One: Clarifying and Prioritizing Your Goals
We’ve all been there; we ask our partner to take out the trash, be more spontaneous in bed, or even remember that we have that dinner party on Saturday. And sometimes, it happens. Though other times, they fall short of our expectations. We may blame this on our partner. We may say, “If they were…
Read MoreFeatured Writing: How to Stop Seeking Validation From Others (60+ Expert Ways)
We all need validation from others from time to time. However, consistently seeking validation from others and not self-validating can decrease self-respect and increase distress in our relationships. Check out this article where 60+ therapists and I share our favorite tips on decreasing validation from others and increasing self-validation.
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