Posts by shelbymilhoan
Understanding Effective Anger
Anger is a universal emotion, meaning it comes up for all of us from time to time. We experience anger when: If you have ever been around anyone (maybe even yourself!) who goes from 0 to 100 on the anger scale in a matter of seconds, you know that how you handle and express anger…
Read MoreRadical Acceptance: What It Is and Why Using It Can Help, Part II
In the previous article, we focused on Radical Acceptance and some examples of how it can be used. Now we will look at how to utilize radical acceptance step by step. Step 1: Observe That You Are Fighting Reality. To change any behavior, we must first note that we are doing said behavior. Fighting or…
Read MoreRadical Acceptance: What It Is and Why Using It Can Help, Part I
Radical acceptance is a complete acceptance of reality. By complete, I mean with your mind, heart, and soul to eliminate suffering and leave only the pain. That may seem a little “woo-woo,” but hear me out. There are practical ways to utilize radical acceptance to help you make actual changes in your life. Below are…
Read MoreWhat Sex Workers Want their Therapist to Know About Their Profession
When you see or hear “sex work” or “sex worker,” what are your automatic assumptions and beliefs? Sex work is one of the oldest known careers, yet it has been stigmatized and discredited by mental health practitioners and other professionals for decades. Here are just a few points that I and others have put together…
Read MoreWhat’s the point of using coping skills anyway?
Utilizing skills in the moment may not be as pleasurable as doing that ineffective behavior to get rid of the pain, so what’s the point? The skills can be hard to use, and it can feel so much easier to do what we habitually do. Even our bodies are against us; our physiology actually wants…
Read MoreSigns of Spiritual Abuse—Part Two
To read the first part of this series, click here. Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming This can come in many forms, including spiritual bypass, denying, or minimizing an authentic emotional or behavioral experience. Members may state things like “Everything happens for a reason.” Or “the lord works in mysterious ways.” Or “Let go and let God.”…
Read MoreSigns of Spiritual Abuse—Part One
Since I began doing DBT therapy and seeing more clients who have had difficult childhoods, I noticed a theme. As we started peeling back the layers, some seemed to have a history of religious trauma. When I listened to their stories, I was shocked to see a history of suffering coming from core beliefs instilled…
Read MoreGetting What You Actually Want from your Partner— Part Three: “MAN”, how to increase the likelihood of getting our request met with three more easy steps
This is part three of the series, “Getting what you Actually Want from your Partner”. To read part one, start here. To read part two, click here. Now that we have our priorities set and most of our script completed with “DEAR“, it is time to complete M is for being Mindful Being mindful is…
Read MoreFeatured Writing: How to Develop Mindfulness During Stressful or Uncertain Times
We sometimes think of mindfulness as sitting on a cushion with our legs crossed, eyes closed, and empty minds. That can’t be farther from the truth. During mindfulness, we may participate in activities like washing dishes, labeling how we feel in the moment, or watching out thoughts float on a cloud. Mindfulness is paying attention…
Read MoreFeatured Writing: Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can help us manage intense emotions, decrease our odds of acting impulsively, better our relationships with others, and live more mindfully. To learn more about DBT, check out the Insider article below.
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