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If you are like me, the holiday season often comes wrapped in a mix of emotions—joy, nostalgia, and, for many, stress. If you’re heading into family gatherings knowing there will be tension, it’s important to prioritize your well-being. Here are a few tips for moving through the holiday season so you feel at peace and…

Anger is a universal emotion, meaning it comes up for all of us from time to time. We experience anger when: If you have ever been around anyone (maybe even yourself!) who goes from 0 to 100 on the anger scale in a matter of seconds, you know that how you handle and express anger…

In the previous article, we focused on Radical Acceptance and some examples of how it can be used. Now we will look at how to utilize radical acceptance step by step. Step 1: Observe That You Are Fighting Reality. To change any behavior, we must first note that we are doing said behavior. Fighting or…

Radical acceptance is a complete acceptance of reality. By complete, I mean with your mind, heart, and soul to eliminate suffering and leave only the pain. That may seem a little “woo-woo,” but hear me out. There are practical ways to utilize radical acceptance to help you make actual changes in your life. Below are…

When you see or hear “sex work” or “sex worker,” what are your automatic assumptions and beliefs? Sex work is one of the oldest known careers, yet it has been stigmatized and discredited by mental health practitioners and other professionals for decades. Here are just a few points that I and others have put together…

Utilizing skills in the moment may not be as pleasurable as doing that ineffective behavior to get rid of the pain, so what’s the point? The skills can be hard to use, and it can feel so much easier to do what we habitually do. Even our bodies are against us; our physiology actually wants…

To read the first part of this series, click here. Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming This can come in many forms, including spiritual bypass, denying, or minimizing an authentic emotional or behavioral experience. Members may state things like “Everything happens for a reason.” Or “the lord works in mysterious ways.” Or “Let go and let God.”…

Since I began doing DBT therapy and seeing more clients who have had difficult childhoods, I noticed a theme. As we started peeling back the layers, some seemed to have a history of religious trauma. When I listened to their stories, I was shocked to see a history of suffering coming from core beliefs instilled…

This is part three of the series, “Getting what you Actually Want from your Partner”. To read part one, start here. To read part two, click here. Now that we have our priorities set and most of our script completed with “DEAR“, it is time to complete  M is for being Mindful Being mindful is…

We sometimes think of mindfulness as sitting on a cushion with our legs crossed, eyes closed, and empty minds. That can’t be farther from the truth. During mindfulness, we may participate in activities like washing dishes, labeling how we feel in the moment, or watching out thoughts float on a cloud. Mindfulness is paying attention…

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can help us manage intense emotions, decrease our odds of acting impulsively, better our relationships with others, and live more mindfully. To learn more about DBT, check out the Insider article below.

Just like physical exhaustion after a good workout or working on our feet for hours on end, mental and emotional exhaustion can be just as taxing on our bodies. Signs of mental fatigue include feeling consistently irritable and expressing that irritation, increasing desire to sleep, and tearfulness. Check out this article several other therapists and…

This is part Two of the series: Getting what you Actually Want from your Partner. To read part one, start here. Once you have your goals prioritized, it is time to think about and write what you want to say in the conversation. DBT provides a great template to assist us in asking for our…

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, emotional abuse includes “non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you“. This may present in romantic relationships as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, and dismissiveness, among others.” It can be challenging to see the signs of emotional abuse as they are…

Someone recently asked me the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness, specifically in asking your partner or children for something. Often we mistake the two, and depending on our upbringing, the two may be similar or are the same thing. In some families (like my big Italian family), aggressiveness and loud communication are a way of…

We’ve all been there; we ask our partner to take out the trash, be more spontaneous in bed, or even remember that we have that dinner party on Saturday. And sometimes, it happens. Though other times, they fall short of our expectations. We may blame this on our partner. We may say, “If they were…

We all need validation from others from time to time. However, consistently seeking validation from others and not self-validating can decrease self-respect and increase distress in our relationships. Check out this article where 60+ therapists and I share our favorite tips on decreasing validation from others and increasing self-validation.