Posts by shelbymilhoan
Signs of Spiritual Abuse—Part Two
If you’ve ever felt like your thoughts, feelings, or identity were unwelcome in your religious environment—or that questioning authority meant risking everything—this might help you name your experience.
Read MoreSigns of Spiritual Abuse—Part One
Recognizing Coercion, Control, and Emotional Harm in High-Control Religious Environments Over the past few years of doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and working with clients who’ve had difficult childhoods, I began noticing a recurring theme. As we explored their life experiences, some shared deeply painful stories tied to religion. What I heard was shocking: core…
Read MoreFrom Empathetic Distress to Compassion: Lessening Burnout in a Troubled World
Amid strenuous relationships and strife in the US with the current political climate, there has been a call for empathy and compassion. Most of us agree that empathy is essential, but what happens when too much empathy makes us feel stuck and disconnected? Empathy and its Benefits Empathy is a mental construct and subsequent behavior…
Read MoreSurviving the Holidays with a Difficult Family: A Guide to Protecting Your Peace
If you are like me, the holiday season often comes wrapped in a mix of emotions—joy, nostalgia, and, for many, stress. If you’re heading into family gatherings knowing there will be tension, it’s important to prioritize your well-being. Here are a few tips for moving through the holiday season so you feel at peace and…
Read MoreUnderstanding Effective Anger
Anger is a universal emotion, meaning it comes up for all of us from time to time. We experience anger when: If you have ever been around anyone (maybe even yourself!) who goes from 0 to 100 on the anger scale in a matter of seconds, you know that how you handle and express anger…
Read MoreRadical Acceptance: What It Is and Why Using It Can Help, Part II
In the previous article, we focused on Radical Acceptance and some examples of how it can be used. Now we will look at how to utilize radical acceptance step by step. Step 1: Observe That You Are Fighting Reality. To change any behavior, we must first note that we are doing said behavior. Fighting or…
Read MoreRadical Acceptance: What It Is and Why Using It Can Help, Part I
Radical acceptance is a complete acceptance of reality. By complete, I mean with your mind, heart, and soul to eliminate suffering and leave only the pain. That may seem a little “woo-woo,” but hear me out. There are practical ways to utilize radical acceptance to help you make actual changes in your life. Below are…
Read MoreWhat Sex Workers Want their Therapist to Know About Their Profession
When you see or hear “sex work” or “sex worker,” what are your automatic assumptions and beliefs? Sex work is one of the oldest known careers, yet it has been stigmatized and discredited by mental health practitioners and other professionals for decades. Here are just a few points that I and others have put together…
Read MoreWhat’s the point of using coping skills anyway?
Utilizing skills in the moment may not be as pleasurable as doing that ineffective behavior to get rid of the pain, so what’s the point? The skills can be hard to use, and it can feel so much easier to do what we habitually do. Even our bodies are against us; our physiology actually wants…
Read MoreGetting What You Actually Want from your Partner— Part Three: “MAN”, how to increase the likelihood of getting our request met with three more easy steps
This is part three of the series, “Getting what you Actually Want from your Partner”. To read part one, start here. To read part two, click here. Now that we have our priorities set and most of our script completed with “DEAR“, it is time to complete M is for being Mindful Being mindful is…
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